How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize