When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
