I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
