Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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