Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
