your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
