Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
