I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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