She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
