I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize