last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You have to summon your inner elephant
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
