I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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