Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
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