Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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