I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I've blown a few things in my day
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize