It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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