Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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