scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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