Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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