I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
