Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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