"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
