do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Randomize
