Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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