there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
He told me they were just razor bumps!
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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