i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Randomize