you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
