No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
it was like having sex with a tree stump
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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