found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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