I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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