kristin has been a bad kristin
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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