I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Randomize
