My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize