I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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