would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
