ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He called his prostate his "boner button".
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
