Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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