you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
