Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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