Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
