last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
