Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
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