hotel room ftw
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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