just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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