I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
