How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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