this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
