I puked a lego.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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