he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
