READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
