Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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