# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
