I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
