u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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