so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
