I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
