OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
