You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
