I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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