Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
