I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
