apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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