I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
