she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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