i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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